Complications
by xkissfromarosex
Summary: Everything in this world means something; whether it's a television program or an algebra equation or that girl you thought you hated but secretly found yourself falling for. Seddie.
1. One

_Hello! I'm back with another Seddie oneshot. This one is pretty long, and I wasn't sure whether to split it up into a multi-chaptered story, but I figured that I'd leave it as it is._

_So I was listening to 'Change' by Taylor Swift and I realised that the opening lines sort of reflect the whole Seddie/Creddie love triangle. So that's what you should expect from this story! _

_Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, I only own the rambling a/n at the beggining. :)_

* * *

_And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you  
Somebody else gets what you wanted again-  
Taylor Swift, 'Change'_

Sam knew it. She just _knew_ it. She'd been wondering for a while, but now she was_ so_ sure.

It was on a Wednesday afternoon. They were lounging about on the Shay couch, abandoned homework spilling over the edge of the coffee table. Sam was flicking through the channels idly, muttering 'lame' to every program she came across. She was spread out along the couch, her Converse-clad shoes just digging into Carly's side. The brunette had managed to squeeze on the end next to her friend. Freddie was sprawled in the armchair next to the couch, his arms dangling off the sides.

"God. There's nothing on!" Sam exclaimed, angrily tapping the remote. Whirls of colour and people flashed before the trio on the screen, before Sam admitted defeat and settled on a program. She wasn't sure _exactly_ what it was, but by the sounds of the canned laughter bleating every few seconds, it was a comedy.

Sam propped her feet up on the coffee table, kicking off her algebra assignment in the process. She heard Carly giggle, but she didn't turn to look at her friend.

After a few minutes, Sam couldn't take much more of the supposed 'comedy' and reached for the remote. But in her peripheral vision, she spotted something.

Freddie's hand, which had been hanging off the edge of the armchair, was now entwined with Carly's. They weren't looking directly at each other, but their expressions betrayed more than Sam needed to know for confirmation.

An ache ripped through her ribcage and landed near her heart. She drew in a sharp breath and clamped her eyes shut, slowly leaning back to her original position.

It all made sense now. All those lingering glances she'd chosen to ignore at the time, all those 'technical meetings' they'd been holding at the Groovy Smoothie which Sam had assumed were about iCarly. She'd been_ played_.

Carly looked concerned. "You OK, Sam?"

"Uh, yeah. Indigestion," Sam feigned nonchalance with a waft of her hand. She watched Carly shift her right hand shrewdly, and she assumed this was to clutch Freddie's hand tighter. Freddie quirked a tiny smile, but Sam knew he was elated inside. He'd got his girl.

Sam swallowed as the pain accelerated. She felt her brain buzz with a million questions. They were supposed to be her best friends, and they'd all promised that they'd tell each other everything. If the hand holding meant what Sam thought it meant, then why hadn't they told _her_?

She tried to push it down and turned to the television, letting the laughter and the fictional situations take her to another place for a little while.

* * *

Sam slammed her locker, frustrated. The whole hallway was filled with chocolate and flowers and_ love. _It sickened Sam. She hated Valentine's Day; it was just another corporate holiday that tried to prove how much better off you were if you had somebody.

Carly was digging in her locker for a textbook, humming absently to herself. Sam watched Freddie waltz over to the brunette and slither his arms around her waist. Carly shrieked and smacked his arm playfully, before giving him a kiss.

They'd been dating 'officially' for a month, but Sam knew that their '_thing' _had been going on for longer than that. They'd told Sam after an iCarly rehearsal, standing as far away from her as possible for minimal damage. Sam had simply shrugged, detached from it all.

But inside her heart was breaking.

"I've got your present back at my apartment," Freddie told his girlfriend, who clapped her hands together in excitement. He smiled at her, before realising Sam was resting against her locker, studying her nails attentively. "You get any cards, Sam?"

Sam's attention stayed focused on her cuticles as she replied. "I might've, Benson. What's it to you?"

"Nothing, just making conversation. What's got you so cranky?" He remarked before he could stop himself. Sam rolled her eyes.

"Valentine's Day is stupid. It's all so freakin' cliché! Yeah, you're in love, so what?" She declared, her mouth set into a scowl.

Freddie sighed. "It's called romance, Sam. Look it up."

Sam's eyes flicked to his briefly, before returning to the floor. Carly could sense that an argument was about to erupt, so she glanced at her watch and announced that it was lunchtime. Sam immediately perked up and headed for the cafeteria, her blonde curls swaying behind her. Freddie was about to follow, but Carly pulled him back.

"Listen, don't start anything with Sam today, alright?"

"She's the one who's being grouchy!" Freddie protested, but Carly just shook her head.

"She'll kill me for telling you this, so you've got to promise me that you won't say anything to her," Carly waited for her boyfriend to nod in agreement, and then she continued, "She didn't get any cards today, OK? Just try and steer clear of any romance related subjects today."

Freddie groaned. "But I'm with my girlfriend, and it's Valentine's Day! It's the only day I'm allowed to be romantic without any weirdness from Sam. Well, _almost_ no weirdness."

"You're coming round tonight, aren't you? We can be romantic then," She promised him, smoothing out his hair. Freddie looked resigned but bobbed his head. He put an arm around her shoulder, and they strolled to the cafeteria, not seeing Sam hanging by another set of lockers surreptitiously.

She hadn't meant to eavesdrop, she really hadn't. She'd forgotten her money for food, and was heading back to her lockers when she heard her friends talking about her.

Once Freddie and Carly were out of sight, Sam slumped against the locker and slid to the ground. She knocked her head lightly against the metal, and a shower of confetti fell from the top of the locker, a present that had been rigged for someone else.

The flakes reading _'I Love You'_ fluttered softly to the ground. Sam, in her dazed state, tried to catch one, but no matter how hard she tried, she found herself only grasping at thin air.

She mused on how ironic the circumstances were.

* * *

Sam dipped her hand in the cereal box and pulled out a handful of sugary hoops. She tipped her head back and crammed them into her mouth in one, gesturing to Freddie for the milk carton. He held it out to her, and she took it and poured into her mouth. Freddie watched; disgusted. Sam managed to shut her mouth and swirled the cereal about, before swallowing whole. She beamed, satisfied.

"That was _nice_. And it saved the washing up!" She wiped her mouth and reached for the milk again. Freddie swooped down and grabbed it away from her hands.

"Nope, no more. We're all got to drink from that, _thank you_!"

Sam muttered something incomprehensible but didn't bother complaining aloud. Freddie poured the milk over his cereal and dug his spoon in. Sam ducked down to the fridge, searching for something that Freddie wouldn't confiscate from her.

"What are you doing here anyway, dork? I don't remember you sleeping over," She questioned, shutting the fridge door with a foot and ripping open some ham.

"I came for breakfast with my girlfriend. I didn't realise _you'd_ be here too," He responded sullenly through a mouthful of hoops.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to eat and talk at the same time?" She arched an eyebrow, smiling slightly when he flushed a deep pink. "And I'll be gone as soon as Carly's down. I'm going to meet Shane at the Groovy Smoothie, so you can have you _alone time."_

Freddie nearly choked on his sugar hoops. "Shane? As in my friend, Shane?"

"Yeah. I bumped into him at school, and we got talking, and he asked me out," Sam explained curtly, "And I said yes. You and Carly spend every waking moment together, so I figured I'd get out your way for a bit."

Whether it was wishful thinking or not, Sam swore she saw Freddie's fists clench. But then Carly interrupted before she could say anymore, and she was out the door to meet Shane.

She couldn't concentrate on Shane though; not when her mind was with her best friend's boyfriend, a few blocks away.

* * *

Sam adjusted a hair pin and observed herself in the mirror. Staring back at her was a girl with elaborately curled hair and a sparkly black dress. Upon seeing this, the tomboy grimaced. This was not her ideal way to spend a Friday night.

Her first proper school dance. The milestone in every teenager's life.

Carly sashayed into the room, dressed in a daring red number that Sam was sure Freddie would appreciate. The blonde cleared her throat as her heart thumped a familiar jagged pattern. It'd been nearly six months now, and Sam had gotten used to quashing this feeling.

"I don't think I can do this, Carly," Sam announced, smoothing down her attire and pulling a face. Carly stood back and admired her handiwork, before hugging the apprehensive blonde.

"You'll be fine! You look gorgeous. Shane'll love you," She assured Sam.

"Girls!" Spencer called, signalling that Freddie and Shane had arrived. Carly inhaled deeply, trying to find her inner peace. Sam couldn't help but laugh.

"Carly," She put her hands on the brunette's shoulders, "You'll be fine. You've been planning this dance thing for ages now, it'll all be fine. Freddie adores you already, seeing you like this-" She indicated to Carly's dress, "-will make him even happier to be seen with you."

Carly smiled at her friend's words, and hooked an arm through hers.

Sam gritted her teeth. "Let's get this thing over with."

They descended the staircase together, although Carly had to practically drag Sam along. The blonde focused on the colourful couch instead of looking directly at her boyfriend, or Freddie, or even Spencer, who was snapping pictures with his digital camera.

Spencer flapped his hands in-front of his face, biting back tears. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry."

Freddie was embraced by Carly, who awaited his approval eagerly. Freddie was brought back to reality and broke into a huge grin. "You look beautiful."

Shane clapped an arm around Sam's waist and kissed her cheek. Sam tucked a curly strand behind her ear, averting her gaze from Shane as he told her how wonderful she looked. Spencer, luckily, demanded they all had photos together, so there was a shuffle about as they stood in position. Carly was on the end, one arm around Freddie and the other wrapped around her red clutch. Freddie was stood next to Shane, and Shane had a grasp around Sam.

Spencer frowned; the chemistry in the picture wasn't right. "Shane and Sam, switch places. Then it's boy girl, boy girl."

Sam did this reluctantly. When she bumped arms with Freddie, electricity buzzed through the air, and when Freddie titled his head to look at Sam, she knew he felt it too. The flash of the camera shocked them, and their heads snapped back to the center.

"OK, Freddie and Carly on their own," Spencer instructed. The camera clicked, and he told Sam and Shane to do the same thing. Once this was done, the eldest Shay wished them luck.

"Spencer, it's a school dance, we're not braving the Antarctic," Carly giggled, collecting her things.

"I know, kiddo. But it's still a big thing. You might have to..._slow dance_," He widened his eyes at the thought.

"Do you know when you'll be able to get them developed?" Shane asked, jerking his chin at the camera.

"I can upload them tonight, and then I'll get them printed for Monday."

"S'great! I wanna put them up on my wall, and my mom said she wanted to see what you looked like tonight," Shane squeezed Sam's shoulder.

"We'd better go, the car's waiting," Freddie said, his tone unusually clipped. Sam's eyes met his fleetingly, but Carly took his hand and tugged him out to the hallway.

* * *

Spencer moaned as the computer told him that his pictures were 66 percent uploaded. It was taking so long! He had been channel surfing whilst cooking some noodles for dinner when he remembered the pictures on the camera. He'd decided to upload them, so he could have a good look before the kids came back. The microwave trilled, so he jumped up and grabbed the carton of noodles from the compartment and stuck his fork in.

Finally, the pictures were ready. He clicked the folder open, and was shocked to see his face plastered on the screen. He edged away from the picture, which was pretty scary. He'd been testing out the camera, and a few of the pictures were accidental pictures of him. Now that he looked back, they were actually quite artistic. He'd have to make some sort of sculpture from them someday...

Getting back to the matter on hand, he clicked on the pre-dance pictures. There was one of Freddie and Shane that Spencer had taken before the girls had made their entrance. They looked uncomfortable, which had surprised Spencer. From what Carly had told him, he'd gathered that they were good friends.

There were a few of Carly and Sam coming down the stairs, and Spencer smiled. Carly looked in her element, but Sam looked delightfully awkward as she tried to navigate down the stairs in heels. He remembered the gasp Freddie had exhaled beside him as his younger sister had entered, and he didn't know whether to join in or slap him for looking at Carly in that way.

Next was a group shot. Shane had blinked, and he was still standing next to Freddie, which caused the picture to emanate discomfort. There were a few more like this, until there was one that made Spencer freeze completely.

It was another group shot, but this time, Freddie's head was inclined towards Sam, who was staring into his eyes, her expression unreadable. If he didn't know any better, Spencer would've thought something was going on between them.

It wasn't, was it...? As much as he liked Sam and Freddie, Carly was his little sister, first and foremost. Should he say something?

His finger hovered over the 'delete' button. That single shot could break her fragile adolescent heart, and the trio's friendship would be ruined, iCarly and all.

He clicked the mouse once and the picture disappeared. He told himself it was for his sister, but his mind niggled him with thoughts.

You could delete a picture, but you couldn't delete undeniable chemistry.

* * *

Sam sat on the bus, her headphones jammed in her ear as she cranked the volume up on her PearPod. She was on her way to Carly's, and she was feeling extra lazy, so she hopped onto a bus and let the wheels do the travelling. She'd been at the mall, picking up some things for an iCarly skit, when she'd been distracted by a popcorn stand. Naturally, she spent most of her time gorging on popcorn, but she'd managed to do some shopping too.

She clicked her tongue impatiently as she waited for the bus to start. iCarly started in ten minutes, and they hadn't even talked about the running order. Carly and Freddie were probably at home, groaning about her tardiness inbetween heavy make-out sessions.

Or not.

Sam was startled to see Freddie jump onto the bus, his hands full of bags. As he paid for his ticket, Sam pulled the headphones from her ears and knotted her brows together.

"Freddie?" She called.

"Sam? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at Carly's?" Freddie asked, plonking himself down next to her.

"I could ask you the same thing! What were _you_ doing in the mall?" Sam asked, her voice laced with disbelief. Freddie ignored this, and the bus started up.

"I've been picking up stuff from that computer shop in the mall, you know, down by-"

"No, I don't_ know_, Fredward, because I'm not a dork like you," Sam muttered dryly, before indicating to her own bags, "Been buying things for that cowgirl thing on iCarly. Carly's probably gonna kill us when we get home. Well, when I say _us,_ I mean _me_, because _you're_ her boyfriend."

"Speaking of boyfriends, how's Shane?"

"Meh," Sam curled her lip, "We split up. It didn't really mean anything. I mean, he was going on about _'serious commitment'_ and _'meeting his family'_ and stuff, and honestly, I only really started to see him to give you guys some room."

Freddie contemplated this. "Do you feel like we've been pushing you out?"

"Nah. Well, not really," Sam lied, playing with the cuffs of her jumper. She stared out the window, watching the sights of Seattle flash by as the bus journeyed on. She could see Freddie rubbing his hands together; an action he did whenever he was nervous. He was toying with something in his mind, she could tell. But she couldn't tell what it was.

"Sam," He began, as the bus jolted forward.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think there's..." He faltered, summoning up some more courage. Sam rolled her eyes.

"Just spit it out, you're making me all nervous."

Freddie turned away from her as he replied. "Do you think there's something going on between us?"

Sam scoffed, but inside she was screaming. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, actually, Freddie, I don't know. I'm not fluent in the language of 'nub'," She said tersely, as the bus halted at their stop. She stood up and clambered over his legs, exiting the bus as quickly as possible.

He watched her, not moving, before mumbling quietly.

"Yeah. I thought so too."

* * *

Sam sat by herself on the swings, swaying gently. Her feet scuffed the gravelly ground below, making a noise that reminded Sam that she wasn't alone. Just _bored_. Freddie and Carly were out celebrating their first year anniversary, and her mom had decided to go to the clinic for her monthly top-up. And Spencer was working on a sculpture all about his face (God knows why), so Sam had decided to come and take a stroll through the park. She'd found herself gravitating towards the playground, and this is where she ended up.

On that swing, Sam was taken back to the innocent days of her childhood. Those were the times where the worries about losing your favourite teddy bear or not getting a spelling right seemed scarier than anything.

But now what scared her most was the fact that she'd fallen in love with one best friend and was worried about losing the other.

What kind of sick love triangle had they got themselves into? And how were they going to get out of it without hearts breaking?

It was too late for Sam. Her heart broke the day she was lounged on Carly's couch, and had spotted their hands weaved together. It had taken her a long time to wade through the muddy waters of her mind to understand why she felt that ache whenever Freddie and Carly shared a secret smile, but when she finally understood, she suddenly wished she_ didn't_ know.

It was better to remain oblivious, in her opinion. Anything beats feeling _shattered._

She had no right to feel like this; she hated Freddie, and he hated her. Everybody knew it.

The swing creaked as Sam built up height, her legs swerving to gain speed. She was six again, preparing for take-off before catapulting herself into the sky. She'd fly for hours, landing in space just above Earth. The she'd dance among the stars, just as the song said, and wave to the man in the moon.

But then a voice brought her back down to earth, both literally and metaphorically. The chains went slack and she was hurled to the ground as she lost her balance. A scurry of feet darted across the stones.

"Sam? Sam, are you OK?!?" Freddie cried.

"M'fine, no thanks to you, nub" She moaned, rubbing her head, "What are you doing here?"

"I've been looking all over for you!"

"Aren't you supposed to be with Carly?" Sam mounted the swing again, ignoring the thumping headache. Freddie joined her on the other swing and pushed up his jacket sleeves.

He took a deep breath. "I was just with Carly. She's ill with food poisoning, so I took her home. But I really need to talk to you."

"Well, you found me. What's up?"

Freddie looked at her, heaving a sigh filled with mysterious meaning. "I had everything mapped out. I had the ideal plan to make Carly love me, and I've had it since the sixth grade. I was so sure it was going to work, and if it didn't, then I'd make sure that I'd never love anyone else. But then_ you_ came along and screwed up my twenty year plan. You're annoying, and gross, and sometimes I question whether you're all there in the head, but for some reason, I found myself....being _drawn _to you. I enjoy arguing with you, and I_ like_ aggravating you, just for the response you give me. And when you were dating Shane, I was so mad at him, but I couldn't figure out why. Because I have this great thing with Carly. And it _is_ great. It's what I've always dreamed of."

Sam momentarily forgot to breathe. She curled her fist around the swing chain tighter, waiting for her mouth to start working.

"Then...why are you telling me all this? You got what you wanted, didn't you?" She croaked.

"But that's just it. I don't _know_ if this is what I want. But I want_ you_ to know that I don't hate you, Sam. It's the opposite. But I'm with Carly now. And the thirteen year old me would kill me for not seeing this thing through with her."

Sam felt her jaw harden; she was tired of all this avoidance. She couldn't take much more crap in her life. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Freddie. We're nothing to each other," She proclaimed coolly.

"C'mon Sam," He said quietly, "You know that's not true."

Sam laughed soberly. "No, I think _you're _the one who's delusional, Fredward. I hate you. I always have, and I always will. Whatever you think we've got together, we haven't." She jumped from the swing and stormed to the exit.

"Sam! Don't be like this," He called. Sam turned on her heel swiftly.

"Me? Can you not _hear_ yourself?!? It'd make things a whole lot easier if you could," Sam cried, shoving the bolt on the gate open. She paused, taking one last look at Freddie. "And it's funny how you keep going on about wanting to be with your _girlfriend_, when you're actually with _me_ on your first year anniversary."

And then she was gone, stomping down the path.

Freddie stared after her, a sharp wind blowing through the empty playground. He began to follow her, shrugging off his jacket. It was cold and dark, and he was brought up as a gentleman. He finally caught up with Sam.

"I don't care if you hate me, I'm not gonna let you walk home on your own."

"I can take care of myself. It's what I've been doing for my whole life," She strode on, determined not to catch his gaze. "Besides, what are _you_ gonna do to protect me? I might as well have a blind teddy bear by my side."

Freddie chuckled, and slid his jacket over her shoulders. He was pleased to see that she didn't throw it back in his face, although he didn't hear any gratitude back.

It took about fifteen minutes to get to Sam's neighbourhood, and most of that was spent in silence.

"OK. I think I can take it from here. Thanks," She said with great difficulty. She handed back his jacket, shivering as the cold air hit her bare arms. He offered it to her.

"Take it."

"You sure?"

Freddie nodded, so she slid her arms in the long jacket sleeves. She couldn't help but feel guilty as she smelt Carly's perfume, which then reminded her.

"You'd better get back to tend to your sick girlfriend," She suggested, tugging on the jacket. Freddie's face flashed with regret briefly, before her rearranged it into a smile.

"Yeah. See you around," He dug his hands in his pockets and wandered off in the opposite direction.

_God damn it,_ thought Sam. Life really_ wasn't_ fair.

* * *

She knew it. She just _knew_ it. She'd been wondering for a while, but now she was_ so_ sure.

They were finishing another successful iCarly web cast when the tension between them finally made sense to her.

Carly realised that Freddie was in love with Sam.

It was obvious; the way his eyes lingered on the blonde for longer than necessary, the way her eyes lit up whenever his smile was directed at her. Carly felt stupid for not noticing it sooner, and suddenly she wanted to shout and scream. Was _something_ actually going on between them? Had they been dating all this time behind her back?

"Woah, Carly. What's with the death glares?" Sam interjected into the brunette's thoughts.

"Nothing. I'm fine," Carly managed a bright smile.

It was always easier to lie than to face up to the truth.

All three of them knew that by now.


	2. Two

Carly had had enough. All her life, she'd become accustomed to losing people. Both her parents had left her; and as much as she adored life with Spencer, sometimes she just wanted to talk to her mom about girly stuff, or see her dad fret over the boys she chose to date.

And she wasn't about to lose Freddie.

After the web cast, they trundled down the stairs, Sam leading the way in order to get to the cupcakes first. When she was out of sight, Carly tugged on Freddie's shirt playfully, causing him to freeze at the top of the stairwell. His eyebrow curved in an inquisitive manner as he turned to her. She didn't catch his gaze, instead playing with the hem on his sweater.

"If we're not quick, Sam'll get to the cupcakes first. And I know how much you love cupcakes!" Freddie nudged her in the side lightly and took to the stairs. Carly didn't let go of her grip.

"Hey, can't we just stay here for a while? Just you and me? We can go and get some cupcakes later," She batted her eyelashes and titled her head to the side.

Freddie gathered their tangled hands together and clasped them tightly to his chest. "We're always together, Carls. C'mon, Sam'll notice if we've disappeared, and she'd eventually come looking for us."

Sam. It was all about her, wasn't it? Carly was supposed to be his _girlfriend_, they'd been dating for a year and nearly a month. She was offering him alone time, and he could only think about the blonde gorging on the sugary goodness downstairs.

Carly nodded reluctantly, weakening her hold around Freddie's hand. He suddenly had an idea, and scooped her legs up. With a squeal, Carly was over his back in no time. Despite her protests, he managed to carry her down the stairs swiftly. He flopped her onto the couch, a smug grin attached to his boyish features.

"Never do that again!" Carly yelped, composing herself. Sam was licking the frosting from a cupcake, watching them with an amused expression.

"Wow, Freddo. When did you get so strong?" The blonde asked, her eyebrows shooting up in bewilderment. Freddie took at seat at the counter and swiped a cake from the tray. In reply to her question, he offered her a haughty shrug.

"What can I say? I've been workin' out," He made the motion of weight lifting. Sam scoffed teasingly.

"Whatever you say, dude."

Carly stared at her friends, blinking. She couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. She realised she couldn't blame the soft iCarly lighting for deceiving her eyes now, because even in the harsh daylight, it was obvious.

Unfortunately.

* * *

Carly held the dress up to her body, admiring her reflection in the mirror. It was nearly Christmas, and the mall was crammed with garish decorations and little kids wanting to visit Santa. Carly was out shopping for a dress to wear to dinner with Freddie on Christmas Eve. It was their first Christmas together as an official couple, and she couldn't wait to give Freddie his present. She'd searched everywhere an idea, determined to make it the best present he'd ever had. After a talk with Spencer, she'd settled on an engraved watch. It had cost a bomb, but it would be worth it. _He_ was worth it.

Carly motioned for Sam's attention, who was lurking around the rails. The blonde glanced up, and studied the pink outfit, before grimacing. Carly concurred with this, and set the dress down on the rail. She sauntered over to Sam.

"I can't find anything!" Carly exclaimed, groaning. Sam picked out a peachy coloured, swirly dress and held it against the exasperated brunette. It had an unflattering shape and Carly could only crack a smile in response. "I'm his girlfriend, Sam, not his mom. C'mon! I need your opinion!"

"Aww, Carls!" Sam whined, "You know I'm not good at all this girly chiz. Why didn't you bring along Wendy or someone?"

"Because _you're _my best friend and I value your opinion more than I value Wendy's. Besides, you're the only person who I can persuade to come out with me by using only a packet of ham and a promise of a smoothie," Carly explained calmly, scouring the rails again. Sam's stomach immediately squealed at the talk of meat products. It had been nearly three hours since she'd last eaten, Carly guessed. She quickly selected a sparkly dress and turned to Sam.

"I'm just gonna try this one on. You can go to the food court, get something to eat, and I'll meet you there, OK?" Carly offered, as Sam nodded eagerly. "See you in a bit!" Carly smiled, heading off in the direction on the changing room. Sam's stomach gurgled, ordering her to get to the food, and fast. She exited the shop and bounded through the hectic mall, minding the excitable little children. She kept an eye out for Freddie as she approached Santa's grotto, knowing that his mom usually dragged him to the bearded fellow at Christmas.

She paused as she got to the main food court, taking in the different stalls. She deliberated for a while, before going for the pizza booth. She slouched over, wincing as a young child screamed by her side.

"Hey, shut up, kid!" She shrieked, sending the kid whimpering to his mom. Sam tutted and let her nose engulf the gorgeous pizza smell. She stood in the back of the queue, tapping her foot to the sound of 'Jingle Bells', the song that was currently blasting from the speakers.

"Sam?" Shane grinned, noticing her. Sam's heart fell. "Hey! How've you been? I haven't seen you around lately."

"Uh, yeah. I've been...around," Sam wanted to sound nonchalant, but had to practically scream over the noise. Shane winced and nodded over at the pizza.

"You getting some?"

"Why else would I be queuing?" She responded wryly. Shane laughed, his eyes boring into hers. Sam shifted from one leg to the other, uncomfortable with the attention she was getting from him. She thought she'd told him that she wasn't interested in a serious relationship. This guy just couldn't take a hint.

He began to say something, but the noise drowned him out. Sam leaned in closer, straining to hear him. He flushed red.

"Hey, lady," The guy behind her said uncouthly, "You're next!"

Shane jumped out of the way of the counter, but waited at the end of the line. Sam ordered a slice of pizza for Carly and a slice of pizza for herself. Seeing Shane again had made her queasy, and she wasn't in the mood to eat. When she'd payed, Shane grabbed the slices and followed her to where Carly was sat. She had a pink slushie in her hand, and swept a hand over the two blue slushies next to her.

"There weren't any smoothies left, but I got you this," She smiled at Sam, who plopped herself down and stuffed the pizza in her mouth. Carly looked up at Shane, surprised. "Oh. Hi, Shane. Uh, I would've got one for you too-"

"What's with the third one?" Sam interrupted, her mouth coated in pizza grease. Her finger was pointing at the extra slushie placed next to Carly's.

"Freddie texted me earlier, and I invited him along. I hope you don't mind...?" Carly trailed off. Sam swallowed and pulled a face.

"I can think of better things to do than hanging out with that nub," She stopped as she saw the look on Carly's face, and added, "But, seeing as you're my best friend, and you've just bought me this slushie, I guess I can deal with it."

Carly smiled, but inside she knew something was wrong. _Dealing with it_ was not exactly the right sentiment.

"Hey!" Freddie joined them, a beam plastered on his face. He gave Carly a quick kiss on the cheek and parked himself on the chair next to her. "This mine?" He asked, picking up the slushy and waving it in Carly's face. With a quick conformation from his girlfriend, he took a long slurp.

"God, this little kids are really starting to annoy me," Sam moaned, her eyes narrowing.

Freddie was about to reply, before noticing Shane lingering around the blonde. He exchanged a glance with Carly, who shrugged faintly and turned her attention back to devouring her pizza. Shane stared at Sam, laughing. She finished her slice and looked up at him.

"You've got a little something..." He bent over her and brushed her cheek tenderly. Freddie's jaw hardened; his clutch around his slushie tightening as Sam didn't cringe away. Carly's eyes widened as she noted this.

"Uh. Thanks," Sam replied, her voice husky.

Carly shuddered, and it wasn't because of the slushie.

* * *

Sam entered the Shay's apartment with a swift kick of the door. Her hands were full of presents for Carly and Spencer, which was a rarity. She'd actually had some money to spend this Christmas, and had felt inclined to give something of worth to her friends. Last Christmas she'd simply handed them a voucher to the Groovy Smoothie, which barely payed off her smoothie debts to them anyway.

"Hello?" She called, dumping the presents on the couch and looking around the apartment, "Is anyone there?"

After a few moments silence, Sam realised something. It was Christmas Eve, and Spencer and Carly usually went down to the park to watch the firework display in the evening. Seeing as it was seven now, she assumed that this is where they were. Sighing, she bounded over to the kitchen for a wad of paper and a pencil.

On the paper, she wrote:

_Merry Christmas from Sam!_

She balanced the note on top of the pile and went to the door. She stopped for a moment; admiring the decorations around the Shay apartment. Tinsel was strewn across the whole room, draped around the computer and the kitchen island. A tree adorned with baubles stood in the corner, next to Spencer's robot, which had reindeer antlers on. The whole space was alight with colours and warmth and happiness.

_A lot like the Shay's themselves,_Sam thought, smiling sadly. Her mother had brought a tiny tree, but it was dying already. It only had a sprinkling of ornaments that Sam and Melanie had made back in kindergarten. Actually, only Melanie's had made it to the tree; Sam's had been ripped down by the blonde herself, and her mom didn't complain.

_If our Christmas decorations said something about ourselves, then what does that make me? A self-destructing ornament that would always be second best?_

Sam found herself smiling bitterly at how true that was.

"Sam?"

The blonde span on her heel, her heart leaping with fright. She encountered Freddie's face, whose eyebrows were knitted together in confusion.

"What are you doing in Carly's apartment?" He asked, closing his apartment door behind him and joining her in the hallway. Sam threw her hand in the direction of the presents lying on the couch to explain. "You're breaking into their apartment to steal their presents?" Freddie accused.

"No, you nub. I _brought _those for them!" Sam responded, riled. Freddie's expression softened, and he looked a litte taken-aback.

"Oh. Wow. I'm sorry. I just assumed-"

"Yeah, well, don't," Sam interjected. They fell silent, averting their gazes from each other. Freddie cleared his throat as if he was going to speak, but Sam's pocket suddenly felt heavy. Her hand flew to it automatically, checking it was still what she thought it would be. Freddie noticed this sudden movement, and remembered what he was going to say.

"I'd better be getting back. My mom's insisting I get to bed before Santa comes," He laughed shakily, hoping it would improve the atmosphere. _C'mon Sam. One little dig won't hurt, will it?_His mind urged the blonde, but his mouth didn't speak.

"I thought you were going out with Carly tonight?" Sam piped up.

"We went last night instead. The restaurant got the dates wrong, and pre-booked too many people or something, I dunno. But it was still really nice."

Sam winced as her heart pulsated with jealously. "Did you get your present from her?"

"Yeah, but I haven't opened it. Do you know what it is?"

"I might do," Sam teased, a bright smile appearing on her face. The smile that Freddie hadn't seen in a long time. "Speaking of presents," She began, reaching in her pocket, "I have a little something for you. Literally, it's nothing."

"Oh, Sam, you didn't have to-"

"It didn't cost me a dime, I swear. It's those 'one hug from me' cheques that you get, you know? Except mine don't say 'hug'. Mine say stuff like 'one comeback to Sam is allowed' or whatever. I thought it'd be appropriate," Sam's cheeks tinted pink as she handed him the package. She was being..nice, Freddie mused with wonder.

"How long do they last for?" Freddie asked, staring at his present.

Sam shrugged, "Depends. Whenever I get fed up of losing to you, I guess. Which'll be pretty soon, so I'd use 'em up fast."

Freddie pocketed the gift and grinned at his friend. "Well. Now I feel bad. I didn't get you anything." He'd spent most of his money on buying Carly a gift, and had completely forgotten about the other girl in his life. Sam flapped a hand at an attempt to feign indifference, but inside her stomach jerked. Yeah, they're weren't boyfriend and girlfriend or anything, but it was Christmas. A lot of time and effort had gone into those cheques.

Freddie saw the look on her face and nearly drowned in guilt. His mind suddenly shouted an idea, but Freddie wasn't sure.

Hell, she'd _made_ him something. This was the least he could do.

He took a step closer to Sam, secretly delighted when she didn't inch away. He lowered his head and his lips landed on her cheek, giving her a quick kiss. When he pulled away, Sam's eyes were wide with an unreadable emotion. She blinked twice, before scoffing.

"God, Freddork, how corny was that? Shame there wasn't any mistletoe around to add to the cheese-fest," Sam remarked, inwardly elated. Her cheek still smelt of his aftershave. Freddie beamed; happy that her old, destructive self had returned.

"Merry Christmas, Sam."

"Yeah. Merry Christmas, you nub," She said gently, walking past him to the elevator. Freddie stood there for a while, toying with her present.

Suddenly he wished that she'd given him the 'hug' cheques instead.

* * *

Freddie fastened his watch before knocking on Carly's door. It was Christmas Day, and Freddie was visiting his girlfriend to thank her for her present. It was lovely, and it must've been expensive, and Freddie was grateful, he really was.

Carly greeted him, a huge smile upon her pretty features as she saw him. He held up his left hand and motioned to it, making Carly giggle.

"It fits! Yay!" She kissed him and ushered him in, but Freddie stood in the doorway, rigid. Carly's brows furrowed. "You coming in? We've got pie."

"Can't. My mom's about to dish up dinner, and I need to go and help her. I just thought I'd come over and thank you for your present, and wish you a merry Christmas," Freddie enlightened the disappointed brunette. She took his hand.

"I hoped you'd like it. It took me ages to figure out what to get you."

"You've got me presents before," Freddie reminded her, smirking.

"Yeah, but you're my_ steady_ boyfriend, not just my boy _friend._ There's a huge difference!"

"Freddie!" Mrs Benson's voice drifted from his apartment. Freddie pulled a face and pulled his hand away from her grasp.

"Better go. Merry Christmas."

"I love you," Carly smiled at him, like she'd done many times before.

"I love you too," Freddie responded automatically.

But he wasn't sure he meant it anymore.

* * *

Freddie flicked the peanut shell across the room with a deft kick of his forefinger. This game had been entertaining him for fifteen minutes, as he tried to think of an acceptable apology for Carly. They'd had a row about something and she'd left the party they'd attended in a huff. Looking back, Freddie couldn't even remember what they'd been arguing about.

All he knew was that now he was alone, on New Years Eve, of all days.

He was sat in the quietest place he could find at Shane's house, which had turned out to be his parents' bedroom. He perched on the edge of the bed, the bottle of alcohol rolling about in his hands as he considered what to do. It was nearly empty, and Freddie's head was banging. He was sixteen, and it was his first proper drink. Great, he was a lightweight. Just what he needed.

"Freddo!" Sam burst through the door in a whirl of colour and alcohol, "Shane said you'd be up here. What's up with you? It's nearly midnight, now get your ass back downstairs to welcome the new year!"

"Are you drunk?" Freddie enquired, trying to sound as sober as he could. Sam laughed.

"Are _you?" _She waltzed over and sat next to him on the bed, peering in his beer bottle, "That your first?" He gave her a nod, to which she scoffed, "That's pathetic, Benson. I don't know what Carly sees in you."

"Have you spoken to her? Carly?" He asked urgently.

"No, I just saw her leaving, but I didn't try to stop her. I thought you would."

Freddie's head fell in his hands as he let out a groan. Sam plucked the bottle from his hands and placed it on the dressing table beside the bed. She glanced at his engraved watch.

"It's nearly midnight! C'mon, Freddwina, look out the window and forget about Carly for a while. You've got a whole year coming filled with crap to worry about, so just let your last few minutes of today be _fun."_

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" He retorted. Sam's hand slid into his as she dragged him up to the window, shoving open the blinds and starting out on the Seattle skyline. Freddie's eyes adjusted to the darkness, feeling Sam yank his hand to her face. She checked the time, as the counting started downstairs. Sam joined in, jumping on each number, her wild curls cascading down her back and coiling around her face. Freddie then remembered what he and Carly had fought about. Apparently, he'd been acting really distant towards her, and Carly was beginning to get suspicious. But she had no right to, did she?

"5...4...3...2...1!" Sam announced, a beam spreading across her face, "Happy New Year, Freddie. Here's to one full of crap and uncertainty."

"Happy New Year," He agreed, grinning. The fireworks splashed across the star-splattered sky, illuminating their faces as they watched in awe. Freddie looked over at Sam, greens and blues and purples pouring over her face as the fireworks became brighter.

And then he broke his resolution. Whether it was the alcohol, or the excitement, or just his frustration, he couldn't help himself.

He pulled her into a kiss. Sam started responding immediately, much to Freddie's delight. It wasn't sweet or particularly special, like his first kiss had been with Carly. It was full of urged passion and it was flavored with alcohol, which, Freddie decided, tasted _so_ much better on her lips.

But god, he hated that girl. He hated the way she made him fell, because it was_ all wrong._ He loved Carly. He was with _Carly_.

And yet, right now, attached to her lips and feeling the light of the fireworks on their faces, he felt right. And he felt _good._

* * *

"Are you and Shane busy on Friday?" Carly enquired to her best friend as they sat in the cafeteria. Sam paused, the handful of fries halfway to her mouth as she tried to think. Freddie's eyes narrowed at the mention of Sam's boyfriend, but he tried to cover up his resentment. Their kiss on New Years hadn't been brought up by either party, but it still hung in the air, poisoning the atmosphere. Luckily, Carly hadn't noticed. Or she was choosing to ignore it.

"We were just gonna watch a movie or something at his house. Why?" Sam shoved the fries in her mouth, chewing sloppily.

"I thought it'd be fun if we all went on a date together!" Carly grinned, spearing a pineapple slice and popping it in her mouth. Sam nearly choked on her food as her eyes involuntarily flickered over to Freddie. His face mirrored her own; a picture of bewilderment.

"You sure?" Sam wiped her mouth, staring at the adamnt brunette.

"Yes, I'm sure! We could go catch a film, and then go to Groovy Smoothie. Or we could go out to dinner or something. I dunno. I just think it would be different to our usual dates!" Carly smiled at her boyfriend. After storming from the party, Carly had gone straight home to sleep off her anger. In the morning, she'd knocked on Freddie's door and had apologised for acting so immature. Then she kissed him.

Freddie's lips still tasted of Sam.

"Yeah, whatever. As long as we get to eat," Sam stated, chugging down her Wahoo Punch bottle.

Carly looked at Freddie. "That OK?"

He shrugged; it wasn't like he had a choice in the matter anyway.


	3. Three

Thanks to all the reviewers, I love getting feedback!

Just to clarify, Carly knows Freddie loves Sam, and Freddie thinks it's only a physical attraction, and he refuses to acknowledge anything more, even though there _is_ something more. Sam knows she's in love with Freddie, but doesn't want to do anything because of the whole Carly/Freddie relationship. This may help you understand this chapter, or it may confuse you even more!

Hey, at least _I_ know what I'm doing, right? :)

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. But I'm super psyched for iSaved Your Life! Not that this has anything to do with owning iCarly, but I just thought I'd throw it in there. Hmm. Anyway...

Please review! x

* * *

"So," Freddie began, not looking up to meet her gaze, "You looking forward to tomorrow?"

It was the night before the big _double date_, and Freddie was in the iCarly studio, prepping the equipment for the next web show. Sam, who had arrived early for once, was sprawled along the purple beanbag, a headphone in her ear. She had been watching him work; watching his fingers roam across the keypad and pushing buttons that had made the lights flash wildly. It was impressive.

Not that she'd ever tell him that.

She pulled the headphone from her head and gave him a reserved shrug. "Like I look forward to shaving my mom's legs." She dug her hand in her pocket and tugged out a half-eaten Fatcake. She pulled a stray hair from it, sniffed it warily, before digging her teeth into the doughy texture.

Freddie grimaced, glancing at his watch to keep himself from looking straight into her eyes. He knew that was dangerous.

"Where's Carly?"

"Oh, she's just getting ready," Sam spoke through a mouthful of Fatcake, an action that Freddie found oddly appealing. His eyes wandered to her mouth as she resumed chewing. Her tongue swept round her lips, collecting what she'd missed with such skill. It was impressive.

Not that he'd ever tell her that.

Sam continued to devour the Fatcake, not noticing his stare. Although it was almost like she was taunting him. He was a nearly seventeen, he had hormones; a lot of them. He mind was already confused over this blonde, and she was making things even worse. _God damn her-_

"Hey!" Carly chirped, entering the studio, "Who's ready to do a web show?"

Freddie blinked quickly, turning to his camera instead of smiling at his girlfriend. Sam made a noise and begrudgingly hauled herself from the comfort of the bean bag, returning her snack to the safety of her pocket. As Sam grabbed the blue remote, Carly patted her already neat hair.

"What are you wearing tomorrow?" Carly asked.

Freddie's eyes flickered to Sam as she replied. "I dunno. A skirt or something. What about you?"

"That dress that I got down at Lopsy boutique at the mall last week, remember? The pink one?"

"Oh yeah," Sam remembered, "That was a nice one. Freddie won't be able to keep his eyes off you, will you?"

Freddie only responded with a smile, hoping the bitter tone in her voice wasn't just wishful thinking on his part.

* * *

This wasn't supposed to happen, Carly thought as they made their way back to her apartment. Freddie was supposed to see how happy Shane and Sam were together, so maybe he could stop looking at the blonde the way he used to look at Carly.

_'Used to'_. Past tense. Ain't that the freakin' truth?

Her mind went over the whole evening; a running commentary that managed to bring fresh waves of pain every time.

The date had started out well; Freddie's jaw had dropped open when Carly had made her entrance. The pink dress was a hit. His jaw didn't drop when he saw Sam.

_But he gave her a smile that broke my heart._

He'd held her hand as they walked to the restaurant, proud to be seen with her.

_But his eyes rarely left Sam's face._

They'd kissed many times over the course of the evening.

_But it wasn't the same as it had been before. _

Sam and Shane kissed. Freddie didn't intervene.

_But I knew he really wanted to._

Freddie had told her he loved her.

_But only after I'd told him first._

Shane had told Sam he loved her.

_Sam didn't reply, Freddie's jaw had tightened, and I felt like crying._

Carly remembered Spencer once telling her that simply ignoring something wouldn't make it go away.

But in her case, if she wanted happiness, ignorance was better than nothing.

Wasn't it?

* * *

Turns out, after a week of deep thought, it _wasn't _better. She loved Freddie, but it wasn't fair on any of them. This whole mess was getting too much, and Carly hoped they could all still be friends at the end of this screw up. It wasn't going to be easy, to say goodbye to her relationship with Freddie after a whole year, but she knew she had to.

They were sitting on the couch in Shay's living room, homework poured on their laps as the television blared in the background. Carly had been twirling a pencil between her fingers instead of focusing on her calculus.

She took a deep breath. "Freddie. We need to talk."

Freddie glanced up from his algebra and drank in her apprehensive expression. He set his work down. "Shoot," He prompted.

"This thing. Between us. It was going great, you know? You're so perfect, and you care for me, and this year has been better than anything I could've imagined," Carly paused, tears beginning to erupt, "But then it's also been the worst year. Because of you and Sam. And I've tried to look past it, tried to see that you're with me and hoped you could see that too. And I love Sam, I really do, but right now I hate her because she's made you fall in love with her and you don't even know it."

Freddie couldn't speak. A million thoughts ran through his head, but none managed to make any sense.

He could feel his heart hammering under his shirt as Carly wiped her tears away.

"But...I love _you_," He croaked.

"No you don't. Maybe once....but not anymore. And you know what? I think...I think I'm actually OK with that. Maybe," Carly whispered, her throat tightening, "Because after everything, I've learnt that you can't make someone love you. And that _sucks_. But that's life."

"You're so mature about this," Freddie observed with a wry smile.

"Yep. We're growing up," Carly finished, tears spilling over her eyes. Freddie reached over and weaved his hand through his. She scooted over and rested her head on his shoulder.

They sat like this for a while.

_Maybe_, Carly thought, as she nestled in Freddie's shoulder, _Maybe things would be alright._

* * *

He was only human. He wasn't perfect. He was allowed to make mistakes.

But could he really get past this one?

Freddie lifted his head, trying to see whether she was awake or not. With a glance at his watch, he could see that it was now quarter to eight. He knew his mom would be up at eight for her morning bath, and at half eight, she'd come to wake him up.

And he knew she wouldn't be too happy to see Sam lying next to him.

He groaned. What had he done? Carly had only broken up with him the night before, and now suddenly he'd slept with Sam Puckett, her best friend?

The night before was all a bit of a blur.

He'd left Carly's apartment about half an hour after their talk, and he went to his room and _cried_. Freddie had never been much of crier, much to the disbelief of his friends. But he'd cried his heart out for the girl he'd loved for many years, knowing that what he'd done to her, falling for her best friend, was the worst thing any boyfriend could do. He knew he'd broken her, and that broke_ him._

And he couldn't fix it.

Sam had come to see Carly after the break-up, as a best friend would, and at about ten, Freddie heard a knock at his door. His mom was asleep in her room, so he padded over and answered the door. Sam stood there, her usually upbeat expression gone and replaced with one of remorse.

"I'm sorry," She'd said, so quiet that Freddie had to think twice about if he'd heard her right. He invited her in.

It had never been his intention to sleep with her, it had just _happened._

Sam stirred, immediately shocking Freddie back to the present day. She fluttered her eyes open.

"Oh god," She mumbled, lifting her hands to her face and moaning. She peeked at Freddie, a flush falling on her cheeks as she remembered the night before. Sam Puckett was not a prude, but sex with Freddie was a completely different matter.

"Morning," He offered, conscious of their proximity and their lack of clothes.

Sam chewed on her lip. "What did we do?"

"Uh, I think we had-"

"Yes, I know _what _we did, Fredward," She snapped, "I was wondering _why_ the hell we did it. I mean, you're my best friend's ex-boyfriend, and you only broke up last night. God, I feel horrible."

"I know, me too," Freddie agreed, his eyes darting across his bedroom floor. His clothes and hers were strewn across the floor, showing their rush the night before. "Are we gonna tell Carly?"

Sam stared at him incredulously. "How should I know?"

"Because you're her best friend."

"So are you! What do _you_ think we should do?"

"I think we should keep it a secret. I mean, if she slept with...Gibby, or someone, last night, then I'd be pretty annoyed at her. Even if it doesn't mean anything. I mean, we were in a relationship for a year. You can't just throw that away."

Sam gritted her teeth and sat up; ignoring the headache she got straight after. She plucked her clothes from the floor and got dressed in haste.

"Sam? What's up?"

"You're pathetic."

"What? Sam, what did I do?" Freddie asked. She slipped her sneakers on and didn't look him in the eye.

"You know, I really thought last night meant something to you. I know it did to _me_. But if you're more worried about what Carly would think, or you'd rather spend your time wondering if she really made the right decision, then I'm gonna go, because I have plenty of other things to do than playing the shoulder to cry on."

"I'm just thinking about what? C'mon Sam don't be like this!"

I understand that you're confused about Carly, I get that," Sam got the door and checked for his mom, before adding, "But I will not be your dirty little secret, Benson, and I certainly won't be your rebound."

With that, she slammed the door and left her words to echo around the room.

* * *

Carly was so glad the atmosphere between the three of them had improved. Carly and Freddie were still surprisingly close, as were Sam and Carly. Carly didn't hold any resentment towards Sam; it wasn't her fault Freddie had fallen for her, was it?

But it seemed Freddie hadn't acted on his feelings, which Carly was pretty pleased about. For her ex-boyfriend to get together with her best friend so soon after their break-up, just seemed heartless.

Turns out, she had_ no_ idea.

It was a Friday, and Sam was out on a date with Shane. Freddie had come round, at a loss of what to do.

"Are we losers?" He inquired, as Carly channel surfed. She shot him an inquisitive look, asking him to explain. "Well, it's a Friday night, we're seventeen, and we're local celebrities. We should be out there, exploring the nightlife, going to parties, making our rounds! But instead we're sitting in, watching re-runs of 'Friends' and moaning about life."

Carly thought about this. "Hey, at least Sam's out. She's got some sort of social life. That might make up for the loss of ours."

Freddie grunted in response, and a silence settled between them. Carly watched him from the corner of her eye. She was still attracted to him, but there was no problem with that, was there? Friends could be friends whilst still appreciating the view.

But what she and Freddie were doing? It was practically a date. They did this kind of thing when they were a couple, and it felt like nothing had changed. Switching from couple mode to friend mode had been easy. They could just as easily switch back...

She leaned over and gently pressed her lips to his. He remained frigid, but Carly put this down to surprise. She stayed on his lips for a few more seconds, but when she finally knew he wasn't going to respond, she pulled away.

"Carly.." Freddie began.

"I know, I dumped you. But...I figured we were doing everything we'd been doing as a couple, so I just...went for it."

"Carly," Freddie repeated, pinching the bridge of his nose, "_You_ broke up with _me_, remember? You accused me of being in love with your best friend! Anyway, things have been going great between the two of us...as friends."

Carly curled her knees to her chest as she found herself agreeing with him, but she knew there was something else to it. "Have you said anything to Sam?"

Freddie tensed, but his voice remained calm. "Like what?"

"Have you told her that you're in love with her yet?"

"This is so weird. You kiss me, and then you ask me whether I've told someone else I love them!" Freddie laughed.

"Hey! You're avoiding the question," Carly swatted his arm playfully, awaiting an answer.

"I'm not sure what it is, but it's not love. There's an attraction there, but it's purely physical. I mean, I'm have hormones. I notice every girl, even if they're Sam Puckett," Freddie swallowed. He'd got that part right, "But it doesn't go beyond that. And I'm sure she feels the same way. I'm just the nerdy tech boy who dated her best friend for a year. There's nothing there."

Carly opened her mouth to object, but Freddie interrupted. "Carly. I. Don't. Love. Sam. Puckett."

Their relationship was only really complicated when he began to think about it.

So he didn't.

* * *

Sam had had enough of the elephant that crowded the room. She and Freddie had slept together, and she couldn't even tell her best friend, given the circumstances. She'd had enough with Shane, and the way he was so lovely to her, even when she didn't deserve it, and with Carly, and the way she'd got to Freddie first, and with Freddie, for being so damn fricking _Freddie _and for making her high school years the worst years of her life, and yet the best.

It came out after an iCarly web show. Sam could feel Freddie's gaze upon her, and she just couldn't take it.

"I slept with Freddie!" She blurted out. Freddie nearly dropped the camera equipment, and Carly froze completely. Their eyes widened; Carly's filled with bewilderment and anger; Freddie's with betrayal.

"What did you just say?" Carly stuttered.

"Me and Freddie slept together. As in _had sex_. Together," Sam reiterated slower.

"When?" Carly asked, slightly horrified, "And why didn't you tell me?"

"The night you and Freddie broke up. I'd come over to see him, and it just sort of...happened. We didn't tell you to protect you. Actually, I wanted to tell you, but Freddie said...we should keep it a secret. But I couldn't take it anymore, and I'm sorry, Freddie," Sam said quickly. Carly's jaw trembled.

"You slept together the _night we broke up?" _The brunette scoffed, "That's pretty low, Sam, even for you."

"It wasn't like that-"

"Oh really? I mean, I saw the way you lusted after him when I was dating him. You just couldn't wait to get your hands on him, waiting for a moment when he was most vulnerable. Well congratulations, Sam. You got what you wanted."

"I waited for him when he was _most vulnerable_? Cut the crap, Carls, this isn't fair. I came over to see him the exact reason I came to see you! I wanted to see if he was OK," Sam defended herself.

"But you didn't sleep with me afterwards, did you?" Carly retorted.

"Stop it!" Freddie screamed, "Both of you, just stop it. Arguing isn't going to help. Yes, maybe we could've picked a better time, but Sam didn't lure me into anything. I invited her in, and it _just happened._"

Carly could feel her stomach knotting. "So have you two been dating all this time? Is that why you wouldn't let me kiss you?"

"No, we haven't been dating. We've barely seen each other, outside of iCarly and school," Freddie assured her, but Carly still felt sick.

Sam, still stinging from Carly's harsh words, pushed past Carly and Freddie and stormed out the door, bolting down the stairs and getting out of the apartment as fast as she could.

A metaphorical load was supposed to be lifted when secrets where told.

So why did she suddenly feel heavier than before?

* * *

OK, kind of saturated with angst, but I figured I'd leave it where it was and then give you the final chapter soon!


	4. Four

OK, so here is the final 'official' chapter. I will be writing an epilogue just to tie everything together. This chapter's a bit shorter than the rest, but I hope you like it.

Thanks to every reviewer, I really enjoy getting feedback. I love you all!

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, but if you're reading Dan, I'd _love_ to..

* * *

Spencer had noticed that his apartment had been unusually quiet for a week or so. It was a little unnerving. Usually, there was a whirl of blonde hair or a stripy-shirted boy floating around the place, but it had only been his sister moping about. He grew even more suspicious when Carly informed him that their webshow wasn't being filmed that week, and Spencer had decided to ask what was up.

"Hey, kiddo," He said one night over a dinner of spaghetti tacos, "Is everything ok? You've been a little down lately."

Carly cracked a taco shell and offered him a vague shrug. "I've been tired, I guess."

"Where's Sam and Freddie? I haven't seen them around here recently," He asked, keeping his tone light. Carly's fists clenched, but she didn't respond verbally. "Have you guys had a fight?" Again, there was no reply. Spencer put his taco down and leaned closer to his sister. "Carly. C'mon. You can tell me."

"Sam slept with Freddie, you happy now?!?" She shrieked, jumping up quickly and storming to her bedroom. Spencer's jaw dropped open; the sound of Carly's door slamming shut bringing him back to reality.

He'd seen this coming. Ever since that picture from the prom, ever since he'd seen what Carly hadn't seen at the time. He should've said something.

Then maybe his sister wouldn't be upstairs sobbing over what he'd kept quiet.

* * *

Sam slowly twisted her locker combination. She felt mechanical; her body was doing everything automatically, with no energy or thought. It turns out that feeling full of emptiness was possible. She knew what she'd done to Carly had hurt her; and she was pretty sure something had shattered in herself too.

She knew it wasn't her heart, because that had been stolen a long time ago.

Dumping her textbooks in her locker, her gaze darted over to Carly's locker. She hadn't seen the brunette in a while. Sam figured that she'd co-ordinated a way of avoiding the blonde everyday. Carly was very good at holding a grudge.

Which she hated, because right now, she really needed her best friend to help her through this.

Shane stalked by, turning away from her and pretending to be absorbed in what his friend was saying. This was understandable. After that row with Carly and Freddie two weeks ago, Sam had gone straight to see Shane and had told him everything. She didn't want any more people to be hurt by what she was doing, and although Shane was a good guy, she wasn't in love with him, and she never had been. He had been the rebound guy, which Sam knew actually hurt more than being lonely.

Her stomach churned as she saw Freddie advance towards her. She couldn't take confrontation, not today. She span on her heel and walk in the opposite direction. She hated him.

"Sam."

His voice sliced through her mind like a painful reminder. She summoned up the courage to turn around.

"What do you want, Benson?" She responded icily, amazed that her voice didn't shake. Freddie tucked his thumbs in his pockets and stopped in-front of her, not sure of his intentions. Sam tapped her foot impatiently. "Well. It's been good talking to you, but I really have to go-"

"Sam," He repeated softly, placing a hand on her arm. Sam jerked away; his touch burning her skin. "I don't want us to be like this. We need to go and talk to Carly. We need to explain that what happened..._it didn't mean anything_," He lowered his voice.

She hated him.

"_It didn't mean anything_?" She hissed, "If it didn't mean anything, then Carly would be talking to us. If it didn't mean anything, then we'd be going around as friends, insulting each other the way we used to. If it didn't mean anything, we sure as hell wouldn't be like this," She took a deep breath and stared right into his eyes, "I'm _tired_, Freddie. I'm tired of pretending. Aren't you?"

Freddie didn't waver; he kept his eyes locked onto hers. Sam blinked and walked away, hoping that she wouldn't cry. She was Sam Puckett. She didn't cry. God, she hated him.

She loved him. But she hated him for it.

* * *

"Hey."

Freddie glanced up to see Carly, with a slight smile on her face, standing by his locker. This was their first contact in two weeks, and after everything Freddie had prepared to say to her, he was at a loss for words.

Luckily, Carly began. "I've missed you."

"Really?" He responded, apprehensive of where she was going.

Carly giggled. "Yeah, I have. You're still my best friend, aren't you? It's been horrible without you."

"Carly. What we did to you was wrong. But it-"

"If you tell me it didn't mean anything, I'm going to kick you," Carly warned, her expression fierce. Freddie's brows knotted together. "I'm not stupid. I've said all along that you're in love with Sam, and having sex with someone usually means you feel something for them. Unless you're drunk. You weren't drunk, were you?" Freddie shook his head quickly.

"No. I was just upset over losing you. Sam was there, and-"

"You've already told me all this," Carly waved his excuse away with her hand. "It's weird, because you talk so much, and yet you don't really say anything," She observed. Edging towards him, she asked, "What are you going to do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"About Sam."

"I'm not going to do anything. She hates me, anyway."

Carly titled her head to the side and smiled. "You'd be surprised."

Freddie grew dubious, an eyebrow shooting up his forehead to illustrate this. He and Carly fell into a slow trot until they approached the doorway. As a wave of fresh Seattle air hit them, he finally spoke up.

"Looks like it's going to storm. The clouds are really dark," He examined the sky, attempting to sound indifferent. He seemed to recall someone being scared of storms. What it Spencer? Or Wendy?

"That's alright," The brunette beside him announced.

"It is?" He asked.

"Yeah. Because," Carly smiled over at him, "After the storm, comes the calm."

* * *

Freddie followed Carly into her apartment; the familiar Shay smell comforting his worries. He was _home. _

Carly threw her bag on the couch and sauntered over to the kitchen. "Wahoo Punch?" She offered, tugging two bottles from the fridge and lightly tossing one his way. She unscrewed the cap to another and took a refreshing sip. Freddie's eyes stayed glued to the kitchen worktop, an uneasy atmosphere settling over them.

"You OK?" She asked, setting her bottle aside.

"Yeah," He responded, too quickly for Carly to believe him. The raindrops splattered softly against the window; the only sound in the room. Freddie watched them slide down the window, racing each other to the bottom. They'd soon evaporate, and start again, ready for the next rainfall. Ready for the next race.

There was a sudden knock at the door, causing both Carly and Freddie to jump. Carly bounded over and flung the door open.

"Hi," Sam said. She shifted awkwardly from her left foot to her right, wondering what else to say. "Can I come in?"

Carly swept an arm across the room without hesitation. Sam's eyes met Freddie's, and the blonde momentarily forgot how to breath. There was silence for what felt like a lifetime.

"Are you two...?" Sam didn't finish, hoping someone would give her an answer.

"He's come over to help me with some homework," Carly replied, surprised at how curt she was. Sam nodded, before her face crinkled in bewilderment.

"Tonight?"

Carly bobbed her head in confirmation, her expression quizzical.

"Why not tonight?" Freddie spoke for the first time. His voice was strained.

"It's a Friday," Sam reminded them, "Don't we do iCarly tonight?" Sam instantly regretted using the word 'we'.

Carly turned her back to the blonde and began to rummage through her bag. She wasn't going to cry; because she knew that nothing could ever be the same. How could they do iCarly, when all of this had come between them? "Yeah, but we're taking a break from that, aren't we?" She sniffed, ignoring Freddie's burning gaze on her form, "I mean...after everything...we're not even friends."

Sam flinched; the words like a slap in the face. _Must not cry. Must not cry. _

"OK," She gave up. She gave up trying to get through to Carly, because she wasn't listening. She gave up trying to be sorry for something she had wanted to do for a while, no matter how much it had hurt everyone. After all, selfishness was something that Sam Puckett was known for.

She walked out of one storm and walked into another.

* * *

Carly stared at Sam's retreating back, a tear slipping from her eye. Freddie got up from his seat and went to her, but he wasn't able to give her his hand, or wrap an arm around her waist. He felt lousy, but he imagined Carly understood this feeling.

"She hates storms," Carly mumbled, almost incoherent.

"What?"

"Sam. She hates storms. Always has done. Remember that time we went camping with Spencer, and she refused to leave the caravan when it was raining hard? She said it was because she couldn't be bothered, but she was really terrified of the oncoming storm," Carly informed him, her voice tightening, "And I just sent her out into one."

"Should we go after her?"

Carly wavered for a moment. Despite everything that had gone down between them, she still loved Sam. She grabbed her jacket and sped from the room, happy when she heard Freddie's footsteps right behind her.

* * *

He was going to get a cold, meaning his mother would be stuffing his nostrils with non-scented tissues for the next week or so, and feeding him as many oranges as possible, 'for the vitamins' she'd tell him, and Freddie would soon not be able to stand the sight of the acidic fruit for a year afterwards.

But it was worth it, to find her.

He and Carly had split up at the bottom of their apartment building; Carly turning left in the direction of the Groovy Smoothie, and Freddie going in the direction of the park.

The raindrops struck his face like knives as he sprinted through the neighbourhood, and he tried to ignore the faint sounds of thunder in the background. He hoped Carly would be OK, and he prayed that Sam would be even better.

"Sam!" He called, breathless. There was no-one in the park that he could see, but the weather was clouding up his vision. He could barely spot a single tree, let alone a teenage girl. Squinting, something suddenly caught his eye. It was the swing, located in the kids playground.

His mind was cast back to he and Carly's first year anniversary, when he'd first told to Sam that he'd felt something for her. He'd admitted it then; why was he denying everything now? Was it about Carly, even though she was OK with their relationship? Was it his mom's inevitable disapproval? Or was it the risk of getting his heart broken?

He guessed it was a combination of all three.

"Sam!" He screamed into the rain again. His eyes were slowly adjusting to the weather, and he strode forward. Something behind him pulled on his coat, and he squealed loudly.

"Freddie?" Sam cried, "What are you doing out here?" Her blonde hair was plastered to her face, and she was shivering. Freddie, despite her being soaked through, couldn't help thinking how beautiful she was. _Time and place, Fredward,_ he scolded himself inwardly.

"Oh god, Sam, you scared me! I was out here to find you!" His hands were clasped around her elbows, and he didn't want to let go, "Carly told me you're scared of storms, so come back inside!"

"I'm not scared," Sam said indignantly. She didn't like him seeing her vulnerable. "And anyway, why would Carly care? We're not even friends!"

"Sam, you're her best friend, and you always will be."

Sam blinked up at him, and he couldn't distinguish whether it was tears or raindrops falling down her cheeks. The rain continued to pour around them, but now Freddie was only focused on this girl. His grip was less forceful, and now tender.

"You'll always be my best friend too," He confessed. Suddenly, everything came pouring out. "And I'm sorry for everything I said. I was stupid, and I was scared. Because loving Carly is really the only thing I've ever known, and I thought it would be all I needed. But then you mixed things up and now I'm clueless. I don't want to screw this up, because...when I kissed you on New Years Eve, when we slept together, any time I've looked over just in time to see you smile, I felt right inside. And that _meant_ something."

A rumble of thunder interrupted his declaration. His eyes darted to Sam, in case she was frightened.

"You OK?" He whispered.

Sam laughed; his favourite sound in the whole world. "You're such a nub. Of course I'm OK."

"Well.." She said after a moment.

"Well?"

She heaved a sigh. Boys. So stupid. "Are you going to kiss me or what?"

Freddie then decided, as they kissed in the rain, that if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.


	5. Five

OK, here's the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, favorited, alerted, read, anything! Thank you very much. I've had so much fun writing this and exploring the characters, and I hope you're all happy with the outcome.

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.

* * *

It had taken a while, but eventually things had improved.

Once the storm had subsided that night, Freddie and Sam had returned to Carly's apartment, although Sam was still reluctant. Carly, who had been anxious at losing both Sam and Freddie in the storm, was pacing around the room, her eyes wild with unwanted scenarios. As soon as her friends had walked through the door, she had sprinted towards them and enveloped them into her arms. When she had released them, she noticed they were both shivering.

She ushered them into the dry apartment, and had grabbed some towels from the cupboard upstairs. No-one spoke; the room was already full with emotions and unspoken words.

Freddie had left to go home after about half an hour. He thanked Carly for the towels and the hot chocolate, and had turned to the blonde and pressed his lips against hers. It was quick, and Sam herself was taken aback.

Carly waited for the pain to arrive; the never-ending jealously that she was sure she would feel if her best friends ever got together.

It never came.

Her and Sam had talked everything out that night. It was the first time they'd talked, _properly_, in a year. They'd both apologised for letting a guy come between them, even when they'd promised to tell each other everything. Sam had been unsure of Carly's reaction to her and Freddie, but she gave them her blessing; truly meaning it.

"That boy is in love with you," She'd declared, and Sam couldn't disagree.

In the morning, the blonde had left to get ready at her own house, and Carly was left alone. She exhaled a breath, a smile working its way to her expression. It had taken them a while, but finally, things could get back to the way they were.

_Six months on_

"Hey, I was watching that!" Freddie protested, his eyebrows drawing together in annoyance.

"So? I wasn't!" Sam countered, idly rotating the remote in her hand as the channels flashed before their eyes.

Freddie turned to their friend. "Carly!" He whined, "Tell her I was watching that!"

"Hey, she's _your_ girlfriend!" The brunette responded; deciding not to get involved. It was a Saturday night, and the three of them were lazing about in the Shay apartment as usual. Freddie moaned, taking a swipe at Sam's hand. He'd forgotten she had sharp reflexes, and he ended up with a slap in the face. Sinking back into the couch cushions, he rubbed his cheek and pouted.

"Listen, no-one wants to watch a documentary about worms or whatever," Sam muttered, sticking her hand into the bowl of popcorn.

"It wasn't about worms. It was about the mammal reproduction process, where-"

"Eww," Sam grimaced, "Why could you be watching that? You perv."

Freddie blushed; groaning inwardly at how feminine he was. "No! It's for my biology assignment. It's nothing like that."

Sam smirked, looking over at Carly and hitching an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I believe you, Freddo. Have you got some weird obsession with the mating habits of different mammals that I should know about?"

"It's. For. _Biology_." He responded stiffly, his jaw set. He knew getting upset would only feed Sam's incentive to wind him up.

"You know, I'm open to any suggestions," Sam offered, "Would you like me to make whale noises when we next make-out?"

"You already do."

Carly slapped a hand to her forehead as soon as these words tumbled from Freddie's mouth. The sharp sound of this made Freddie flinch; afraid that Sam would pounce any second. Maybe that wasn't the right thing to say to your girlfriend. He was still on a learning process with Sam. With Carly, things had been easier, like it was in the movies. But with Sam, it was all new. He had to tread carefully, knowing she could blow any second.

Instead of attacking him, her eyebrows shot up, impressed.

"Hmmm. Who knew Benson had a backbone?" She tossed the remote his way, settling back into the couch. "C'mon then. Lets see some gorillas get it on."

Carly pulled a face. "Sam! There's no need to put it like that!"

"Seriously, Carls. At seventeen, you'd think you'd stop being so prissy!" The blonde remarked, but not unkindly.

"You'd _think,"_ Carly shrugged, shoving some popcorn in her mouth as Freddie found the right channel. He draped an arm around the back of the couch, a not-so-subtle way of putting it around Sam. She eyed him as she felt his hand curl around her shoulder, but she didn't pull away. In-fact, as the program went on, she found her eyelids drooping. She fell asleep against his arm, her light snores interrupting the animals on the screen every so often.

Freddie looked down on her. She looked so harmless when she was asleep.

"I never really said this..." Carly announced quietly, "But I'm really happy for you guys. Really."

"That means a lot, Carly," Freddie smiled, shifting his arm slightly. Sam's head was pretty heavy, and his arm was getting cramp. As he wiggled from beneath her, her head fell against his chest, leaving him pretty stuck. Carly giggled.

"Good luck getting out of that one."

Freddie's lip curved upwards. He didn't tell Carly, but he didn't mind. Holding Sam was still a new experience, one he'd dreamed about even when he had been with Carly. At the time, he'd dismissed these as teenage hormones, but looking back, he knew it had meant something. That was something Sam had taught him; everything in this world means something, whether it's a television program or an algebra equation or that girl you thought you hated but secretly found yourself falling for.

He concentrated on Sam's breathing; enjoying the way his body rose and fell in step with hers. He listened to her heart pulsate through the layers of clothing, the rhythm calling his name. He tucked a strand of blonde behind her ear and kissed the lobe softly.

Sam ruined the moment by letting out a large and very un-ladylike snore. Carly laughed, and after a moment, Freddie joined in.

Yeah, it wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damn close.


End file.
